Last chunk of the school year - somebody inject the nitro boost!

I finally finished my programming assignment. As I am in the process of writing a piece of code I hate programming with my entire soul. When I am done I feel a little beeter. The hate part is because after I come up with a brilliant idea I have to figure out ways to translate it into the programming language. Not having much experience in the field makes me discover how stupid I am every time I program I and it really hurts. I seriously put too much time in this homework and it's so demoralizing. I think the result is pretty cool, but I rather not have to deal with it. I am so glad I decided to get away from computational chemistry in grad school.

Talking about grad-school, I had some gut feelings today that I want to go to CU Boulder. It's just that I am excited about working there: the people, the place, the weather, the healthy environment are all so exciting. I am a little skeptical because CU is another big state university with frattards and sorostitutes, not that big of a name (compared to MIT), and probably too expensive for its worth. I am seriously thinking about dropping my visit to Illinois and just accept the Colorado's offer. Should I wait and reason it out till the very end or just go with my feelings?

Off the topic: A civil group called MinuteMan Project will deploy volunteers at the U.S. Mexican border in Arizona equipped with night vision, radios and light aircraft to monitor the rampant illegal immigration. Apparently the project has a lot of volunteers and they had to turn people down because some of them were too nuts (white supremacists). The official border patrol is against this because they fear that the civil militia will either abuse the immigrants or will get into dangerous situations with the mexican 'vigilantes'. After Bush's recent visit to Mexico it is very clear to me that there is no intention of securing the Mexican border. A big chunk of the American economy is feeding off the illegally cheap labor of illegal immigrants. Bush was governor in Texas and there's no doubt he knows this problem very well. Here's the original BBC news piece.

saturday night fever

So for the past day and a half I have been working on my Numerical Linear Algebra homework. I just couldn't understand what the problem was really asking. As I was getting ready to give up and e-mail the prof to whine about my stupidity I realized that the assignment had changed since I printed it off. I was actually working on a wrong problem. Oh man, how much I hate stuff like this. I hope tomorrow I'll get this done asap and start a new calculation for my senior thesis. Good night for now.

A week later

It's been a very long week. It seems like I am not made for this blog thing. Whenever I am tired, frustrated or simply not in the mood of writing I just don't. Briefly, here's what happened since the last post:

1. I visited Boston and the mighty MIT. I had a great time visiting with my good friends, Elena, Immanu and Prisu although due to my cold physically I felt horrible. Boston as a city didn't do it for me, maybe because it was cold and dirty and the people were sometimes not as friendly as I wanted. MIT as a school was also a little cold. I could feel some of the infamous MIT pressure, and the people in the chemistry department were deffinitely not vibrant. I didn't click with any of the faculty, but I could see myself working for Dr. Nocera. No matter how many disadvantages I might come up with, it's friggin MIT we're talking about here. The only thing I am sure is that my grad school decision got even tougher.
   
2. Wednesday and Thursday I went on a fishing trip with my host family. It was some of the best I've had in a long time and all I can do is let the pictures talk.
   
3. I am trying to get back on top of the ball, get my homework done and start writing for my thesis. Ugghh.
   

MIT here I come

Tomorrow I am leaving for MIT at 5 in the morning. Needless to say, Thomas is not that happy about me dragging his ass out of bed so I can get to the airport. As about the visit itself, I am probably more excited to meet my old friends from Romania that go to school there than visiting the chemistry department. Dr. Swager who I really wanted to talk to is in sabbatical so I guess I will have to investigate his lab by myself.

I still don't know how I am going to do my homework for Numerical Linear Algebra, which is due tomorrow. Btw, the test was OK, I think I did a lot better than the amount of work I put into it. Today I also turned in a first draft for the paper in my senior math class.

As soon as I come back from MIT I will jump right into SPRING BREAK. Yoohoo! Not so fast, it's not really a break. I have to make myself do some work on the chemistry senior thesis. I am sooo behind and realistically I don't know if I will have the strength to pull that one through. We'll see. Oh, Wednesday I'll go fishing with my hostdad, "uncle" Tim and their offsprings. It will be a lot of fun to play with little kids and enjoy the outdoors. That is actually my real break. (I love the outdoors... do you see a pattern pointing to Colorado...hmm)

more than I can write

A lot happened since the last post and I won't even try to fit it all in here. I visited Colorado and that was amazing. The town, the chemistry department, the students, Dr. George, the mountains, everything was just amazing. The only problem is that the financial offer is the weakest of all schools. I am already tired of four years without having a car and always begging for money left and right and I was hoping to get a breath of fresh air with grad school. The life as a Ph.D. is not the best, but I was hoping to be able to gain some freedom. Despite all its amazing qualities, it looks like Boulder has steep housing expenses and affording anything but the bare minimum would not be possible.

Today I gave my presentation about the Brouwer Fixed Point Theorem in my math senior seminar. I think I did OK, although I messed up the proofs and the guys in the class were not paying any attention to what I was doing passed the 20 minute mark. At least I got it over with.

Today we've written 2650 digits of PI on a huge roll of paper, as a tribute to PI day, 14th of march. Of course we ate PIes and almost got kicked out by some university administrators because we didn't organize the event according to their stupid policies. The few people that stopped by were truly amazed by our nerdiness.

Tomorrow I have the second Numerical Linear Algebra exam and I need to secure a solid A in there. I probably need to spend the entire night to put myself up to speed in manipulating matrices easily in my head and imagining each step in the LU factorization algorithm. Something that doesn't help is the fact that I caught the flu from another prospective student that was visiting Boulder. I am having some fever right now, cold sweat and no apethite for anything. I still have to finish the entire 10 page paper for the Math Seminar for Thursday and to finish my homework and program for N. Lin Alg before I leave for MIT. Not to mention that I need to START my senior thesis paper with the little data (and lack of) that I have. Woohoo! Somehow I'll get them done, I just know it.

Romanian president meets Bush

Basescu, the former sea captain and now president of Romania met with G.W. Here is a link to a video stream of the press conference that followed their meeting. I must say, for living most of his life in communist Romania, Basescu's English was not that bad. His grammar was terrible, but the pronunciation was half decent. I don't even dare compare it to Iliescu's Russenglish. I didn't quite get Basescu's remark "It was a sign of destiny" referred to Bush's comment that the rainbow shone when he gave the speech in Romania, in the same place where Ceausescu gave his last speech. I am sure he hinted to the superstition that the rainbow is a sign of good fortune. Basescu misused the word "destiny" and it sounds like he compares the destinies of Bush and Ceausescu. I hope I am the only one to get this weird interpretation.

Radio Romania vs. NPR

I found a pertinent article comparing the Romanian Public Radio and NPR. What they don't say is that most likely NPR journalists are better prepared professionaly than their Romanian counterparts. And that's not anybody's fault because independent, concise and sharp journalism was born 15 years ago and it's growing up right now.

MIT

I couldn't believe it. It came in a regular small envelope and it said YES. I have been accepted to MIT and I will go visit next weekend. Now my decision gets a lot more complicated. I am visiting Colorado this weekend and I can't wait to ask all the questions that cross my mind with no intentions of being polite. This game is now about getting the most accurate description of the department as possible. No matter what happens, I can at least say that I refused MIT. Sweet life.



The link abocve is for helping somebody who's life depends on a $35,000 surgery. It might sound nothing for the US, but in Romania that's a lot of money and this guy has a few weeks left. Unfortunately donations can be made only from Romania. I wish Romania would enter the civilized world some day and be a secure place to do e-payments. If you are by any chance reading this from Romania do what is right.

G'day

Literally, although it rained and it was pretty cold, today was good to me. In my numerical lin algebra class Dr. Arnold had a good story about the beginning of computing when a today's 512 Meg thumbsize flash was equated by 7 tons of punchcards, or a stack 1 mile high.

I've started working on my math paper, and I guess I should go back before the motivation runs out...

lazy, scared, tennis

I have been feeling very lazy lately. I just pretty much wasted my weekend, although I had big plans in mind. Sometimes stuff like this happens and I don't know why. I feel like I am missing something. It's like when you crave for some food or drink and can't say what that food would be. It just kills me. I bet it's loneliness or homesickness but I can't tell. Arghhh...

Dear world, how can I get my motivation back? Help... All I have been thinking of is my trip to Colorado and my grad school decision. At the same time, the pressing deadlines for my two projects are making me so nervous that I don't want to deal with them yet. Weird, I know. It's like when being so afraid of the dentist you unconciously forget about the appointment.

On a lighter note, how can you recognize a French veteran?

Sunburned armpits.

The Romanian tennis team qualified in the Davis cup quarterfinal after coming back from 2-1 to win 3-2 against Belarus. Everybody thought that they would come play the US in the semis, but the US team lost tonight against Croatia. Roddick couldn't handle a 5 set match. Oh, Andy, you meathead. Your baseball-style 200mph serves work most of the time, but some finesse would help every once in a while.

Briefly

Very very cool experiment - The most beautiful experiment in physics, according to a poll of Physics World readers, is the interference of single electrons in a Young's double slit. A few days ago European and American researchers performed a novel version of the double-slit quantum-interference experiment with single electrons, except that the double slits are separated in time, not space.

Postsecret - It is an experiment/art project consisting of postcards sent in by anonymous people...revealing secrets they've never told anyone. The best idea I've seen in a while. I think this website should be used for the definition of human nature.

Rules of Engagement

This was a night of intense documentary watching. I usually do that on Saturdays, but I didn't feel like doing any work tonight so I used the time for a good cause. One of the news headlines today was that the Italian journalist that was just released earlier today by the insurgents in Iraq, was shot and injured, and her bodyguard killed, by an American soldier at a checkpoint. Apparently the car driven by the Italian undercover cop was speeding towards the checkpoint and didn't follow the rules of engagement.

I am mentioning this because I watched 2 documentaries on PBS Frontline tonight. One of them is A Company of Soldiers. It follows the daily life of the Dog Company at the outskirts of Baghdad for a month during the operation on Fallujah last November. It is a must see, like any other FRONTLINE documentary. I don't know how much stuff they couldn't show, but what I have seen gave a pretty good indication of the situation on the ground. They have a scene exactly like the one in the news today: a car is approaching a roadblock, and the soldier has to make a split second decision. He fires a few shots in the air, and then his commander yells at him that the car crossed the friendly line, and so the guy opens up on the car that luckily stops abruptly. Now the car was beyond the line, so according to the rules of engagement the soldiers are supposed to anihilate it. Luckily the car backs up slowly.

The general feeling that I got about Iraq is that a handfull of bad guys are ruining everything for everybody. If the Americans are building a market the insurgent attacks start and they have to run after the bad guys, so the projects stop. Slowly though, I think the situation is moving in the right direction. Is it worth the life, blood, or tears of so many American kids, Iraqis and orphaned children? I think so, but who am I to decide on something this big...

The other documentary was The Soldier's Heart , which was the name given to post stress syndrome during WWII. This film is about soldiers who during or after deployment go through very intense emotions of fear, anger, or self-denial. The documentary looks at a few cases, one being about a soldier who hanged himself after coming back from Iraq. Apparently, 1 in every 6 soldiers suffers of this, but very few acknowledge it because they are ashamed of being called a "pussy" by their commanders. Although it has programs to "handle" the problem, the military doesn't even want to acknowledge it as being a problem. The military is about strength and the fact that service is voluntary leaves very little space of maneuvre for a poor soldier. Suffering of a panick attack when he shoots a peaceful women that looks like his mom is not OK. The purpose of the military is to win, and they do that by killing the enemy. By accepting that killing is not OK for some of the soldiers the military would defy it's own purpose: win the battle at any cost. It just sounds like a freezing cold argument but I have to agree with it. Unfortunately, when we talk about war, when life is on the line, there is not enough attention left for PTSD. Unless you are the awesome FRONTLINE.

Hungarian-filled Bavarian croissants

I just came back from a poetry slam at the University coffee shop. I've always wanted to see one, and I guess tonight I had the oportunity to taste the best of the best. RZ's featuered the twice poetry slam world champion Buddy Wakefield. The show is a combination of poetry and acting. I felt somewhat uneasy at first because the words were coming out of his mouth at a machine gun pace, but I was soon amazed by how powerful those words turned out to be. What I liked the best was that using just words he was able to induce in me a dream-like state. Here are a few of his latest verses from his journal that are pretty indicative

Revisionist history relationship trading cards
Interactive slow moving quick fix
Open hearted surgery blindfolds
Middle finger applicator with wings
Chicken breast strokes
Hungarian-filled Bavarian croissants
Selective memory commemorative plates
Jet fuel

A few weeks ago we went to Arsaga's and saw a guy with a guitar and an amazing voice. We liked him and after a careful scrutiny of our empty college student pockets we decided to buy his CD. His name is Nick Pagliari, and he is the singer of a Nashville band called Fairfax. They play southern rock, with country influences (the good kind of country). Anyway, they sound really good and are worth a click. Apparently their album is also available on iTunes. So far my favorite songs are Swell and The Intervention.

Today I've restarted my trips to the gym. Two weeks ago I stepped in a pothole during the ultimate winter league and sprained my ankle pretty bad. It was swollen for more than a week and it still hurts when I try to rotate my foot. Well, today I did a decent ab routine and ran for 3 miles at a deliberately slow pace to protect my poor ankle. It feels so good to be an active animal again!

success

taxes - DONE
laundry - DONE
room cleanup - DONE
colloquium paper - DONE

BAM!

Yahoo is 10 years old and Baskin Robbins is giving out at free scoop of icecream for this anniversary. Yum!

FAQ

Dragos, what kind of name is that? Where are you from?
Romania

Wow, your English is not too shabby. For how long have you been here?
This is just my fourth year in the States. Thanks to my parents, I started taking English classes when I was in first grade.

How did you end up in Arkansas?
In a series of fortunate events I received a Chancellor's scholarship at the University of Arkansas. Such an offer was hard to pass up.

Are these really frequently asked questions, or you're just making them up to show off?
Yes and no. Yes, I show off, but these questions get asked a lot.

So how do you like it here?
I like it a lot. The people are nice and there are a lot of opportunies if you really want to accomplish something. Oh, and I shouldn't forget the good live music that abounds.

So you're graduating this year, what are you gonna do next?
I am in the process of choosing a Ph.D. program in Chemistry, more specifically Physical or Materials Chemistry. So far I am looking at UTexas, UColorado Boulder, Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, South Carolina, and U California Riverside. I just visited UT Austin a few weeks ago.

Why are you keeping this blog? Nobody is reading it anyway...
I know. It helps clear up my mind and get to terms with myself. Let's say that I find something outrageous on the news. I could keep it in and feel the anger and frustration all day or I could write about it in the blog and move on. I also use it as a self motivator or just as a public notepad.